Well, still working on this final project for University... this shoot was more about single shots, I'm not sure whether or not to use them in this format, but they where quite interesting and are a bit more intense (for me at any rate).
Maybe this is something I should play about with in parallel with the main, photo-montage thing???
Photography was and is a form of therapy for me, a way I can mould a mood, a feeling, an event... allowing me to express it, so that those around, those who choose to see my images can be immersed and share in my reality. I wanted to say 'wish' to share but thats not how it works, I don't get a choice the same way I don't get to choose my mood.
I avoided mirrors as a child, a good catholic boy, so afraid to see into my eyes and into my soul. As a teen I looked at everything that caught my reflection, so sure and confident but never into my eyes...
BUT it was suggested by a friend, that maybe I should, maybe it was time to go full circle and to face myself. The thought of it terrified me and still terrifies me, I try so hard to be a goof ball, unthreatening, soft, brushed off as a flake.
Do I really want to see the stuff I am made of, to face that reality? What if I am like them? What if I am not the man I try to be? What if I let those closest to me down?
This is very much what my project is becoming. Many of the questions I am asking have no answers but it has taken me a lifetime to realise this, granted not a long life so far but long enough for Alexander the Great to conquer the known world, or for Christ to live his life and be dead, so surely I should know something by now?
Is this the right time or is this a can of worms that should be left alone? Quite simply I don't know, but this project is making me feel... that in its self is a good thing.